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I'm so happy I have this space to rant. This matter has been on my mind since.. this morning. Not very long, but it's definitely affecting me more than it should. 

TBH, I should be used to it by now. But that's exactly why I'm raging/feeling disappointed over it. It's not even a big matter, but it has been weighing me down since I saw it. This is overdue because that message was sent a while back. But I have cultivated the bad habit of not reading messages/whatsapp if it's not important. 

So today morning, I opened a whatsapp because I needed to check on something and chanced upon a reply from last week. Which means if I had opened it last week, I wouldn't be feeling this way now. (Serve me right for not reading replies) Anyway, this certain reply, to me it's replied in such a way that I am disturbing that person's peace/am being annoying. THING IS, I wasn't even the one who initiated the chat. And given how well I know this person, I can totally imagine the tone used in my mind, which makes me feel worst. I normally laugh it off and brush it aside cause we used to talk quite frequently. But we haven't talked in a few months, shouldn't you be nicer? 

Like I said, I should be used to it. Which makes matter worst because, why should I even be used to being treated this way? Not everything works both ways. Me being nice and treating someone as a good friend, doesn't mean the other party will treat me the same way. I have expectations because we have been friends for so long. Don't tell me you dk how fucking sensitive I can be? 

Or maybe you just care about yourself only. I should have known because this is how you have been all along. I was ok with it all along maybe because it hasn't reached my limit yet. 

Each time I get over it, I tell myself I have better things to be happy about. Like my successful ballot for the latest NMD launch. & that I do have other friends who will willingly and happily listen to me rage and kpkb. Which is why I shouldn't even be so affected. 

But then I think again on all the efforts I have put into this friendship. 

I know I would regret this post one day, because I'm pretty sure it's my moodswing that's making me feel this way. But for now, and the past week in fact, this, is how I have been feeling.